you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
