You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
