is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
