Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
