she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
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Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
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one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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