were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
