So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Randomize
