no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
