at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
