just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
