My Higher Power is John Stamos
the day after is always just damage control
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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