i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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