she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
