It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
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