He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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