Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Randomize
