I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
