They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
