Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
