Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Randomize
