My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
