Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Terrible idea I love it
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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