her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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