I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
