The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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