Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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