I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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