So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reggie can tackle my bush.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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