Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
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