If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
