Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
