So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
