I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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