I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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