Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
