chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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