Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Randomize
