I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
