Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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