Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.