At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
