Your face is a jimmy john
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.