I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
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