BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
