her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Randomize
