i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
