I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize