That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
