Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
