When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Alive.
So much puke
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
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