my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize