the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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