I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
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