i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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