I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
