he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I can't turn off my feet"
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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