im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
MIDGETS
????
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
