Your tits are I can't wait for
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
