there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
My feet surprised me
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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