I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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