I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
