Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Randomize
