so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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