i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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