She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
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