Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
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He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
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How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
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