pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
my poor anus
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Randomize
