question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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