what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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