i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
