I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
farters have to be the big spoon...
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
