Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
