how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
