first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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