i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Randomize
